NATHAN VENTRY, Life Coach

FAQs

Troubled by a narcissist?

Caution: You cannot change a Narcissist

          Why do narcissistic individuals engage in abusive behaviors? At the core of narcissism lies cognitive dissonance, a psychological phenomenon that creates distorted perceptions. This dilemma leads them to struggle with differentiating their internal (often distorted) thoughts from the external voices of others. Consequently, when they interact with you, they might be present physically but are unable to comprehend the reality of the conversation. Instead, they may misattribute your voice and perspective to an internal narrative or an image of someone else.

          As observed by S. Vaknin, narcissists often lack a stable sense of self and engage with the world predominantly through their distorted internal lens. Their fractured perception makes it impossible for others to ascertain what they truly think or feel about anything or anyone. While this might seem unfathomable—almost like a science fiction scenario—it’s helpful to picture narcissists as emotionally stunted adults who grapple with understanding their own motivations and actions. Their efforts to maintain the appearance of comprehension signal a deep survival instinct, albeit one that is misguided.

          Consider the analogy of a litter of puppies feeding. Imagine one pup struggling to find a spot at the mother’s breast. To an observer, it may seem like a harmless endeavor. However, for the puppy, it feels like a matter of life or death. The pup is desperately searching for sustenance and, unaware of the feeding routine, experiences this as a frantic struggle for survival. Its instinctual urgency obscures any rational understanding of the feeding process, and hunger does not allow for calm reasoning.

          This scenario is akin to how adults with narcissistic tendencies behave. For them, the idea of a future is uncertain, leading to instinctual and infantile responses to perceived threats. They often lack the emotional maturity and reasoning skills necessary to manage these fears. If these fears are not addressed in a healthy way, they can manifest as maladaptive behaviors—knee-jerk reactions that complicate their lives.

          Now, let’s consider artificial intelligence, AI, in this context. Surprisingly, AI can offer valuable insights into understanding narcissism due to its own framework of learning. Just as many individuals struggle to grasp the realities around them, AI can exhibit limitations in truly understanding the value behind problems. However, AI can also be a tool for problem-solving by recognizing the importance of collaboration in addressing these issues.

          The challenge we face is not merely individual; it’s a collective one. Solutions to the complexities of narcissism and other significant issues require a unified effort. While we may not solve these problems overnight, approaching them as a shared responsibility may pave the way for meaningful change. If individuals can come together with altruistic intentions, we have the potential to foster improvements that benefit all of humanity.

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How can I be happy?

Happiness is the most important thing in your life. If you are happy with your relationships, happy in your work, happy with your life, what else would you need?

Unfortunately, many people are not happy, at least not as happy as they would like to be. To be happy, you must take charge of your life, grow your confidence, improve your lifestyle, and follow your dreams.

To achieve happiness in your life smiling, exercise, adaquate sleep, gratitude, balamce between family and work, and joyful activity can help. Nate has many more ideas to help you achieve happiness in your life. Happiness is a personal journey tailored to your needs.

The world is fast becoming a place of great confusion and stress. Conflicting demands on your time may be causing you to lose yourself sometimes in the roles you play. You try to keep up, but somehow the way to relaxation, confidence, and success eludes you, and you end up worried, maybe even a little depressed.

You wonder: “How can I get more out of my life?

How can I become a Happy, successful parent?

Being a parent is probably the most rewarding, yet maybe the most daunting role in anyone’s life. As your kids grow up, the challenges only get bigger. How can you possibly prepare for everything, when you haven’t been properly trained? After all, parenting is not something you have learned at school.

You wonder: “What can I do to be a good parent for my kids?”

Can I create my own happiness?

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You may be looking for something quicker, or maybe more affordable. Perhaps you are considering coaching but want to get a swift jump-start. Maybe you only need some inspiration or motivation, and you just need some quick tips.

You wonder: “Is there a knowledgeable person with reasonable fees that will keep me moving forward?”

How can I have happy, meaningful relationships?

Everyone needs to interact with others, but most of us guess how to do this, sometimes with little success. Whether you have just met a new person or lived with them for a long time, even in a marriage, you may find yourself puzzled and frustrated. Sometimes, it seems like using a different language.

You wonder: “How can I make my relationships work?”